Get in the game. Sitting on the sidelines will get you nowhere. Either play the gay dating game or get out of the other gay guys' way! This doesn't mean you have to play every day.
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The goal is for the single gay community to know you're in circulation. Try something new. Try a sparkling, new approach to gay dating. That is, if you've been doing the same thing and expecting a different result, then change detergents, add some fabric softener and try a new way of putting yourself out there. Going to the same coffee shop, grocery store and gym leads to the same scenery and the same results.
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So instead, change it up! Step out of the box.
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You love to run, hike and go to the theater. Now what activity would be so out of the box for you, it might put you in a space to meet new guys, make friends with people who have gay friends or try a new hobby?
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Think of it this way: If you can step out of the closet, you can certainly step out of your rut! Reflect what you desire. If you really want a guy who appreciates monogamy, then hanging out with people who have open relationships probably isn't the best place to meet Mr. From sex to finances and family to intellectual awareness, letting your true desires show up doesn't make you weak, weird or wacky. It's you being truly you, so let your authentic self shine.
Stop making excuses.
The more you make excuses for why your gay dating life is the toilet, the less chance of it shifting in a positive way. If every date you go on with a gay guy leads you to say, "He was nice, but What's sex got to do with it? Dating from the perspective of "it's all about sex" can pay off if that's how you truly feel.
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Conversely, making sex the secondary acquisition can also be a home run. When you hide from your truth, it won't set you free. Plus, being honest with yourself is a great launching pad for honesty in your relationship. Ask yourself, "So what? Do you always say: For example, "Gay dating is such a chore. Gay dating is a chore that eventually leads to feeling depressed and lonely So change the tape!
Be a fearless, foolish and fun-loving.
Crazy as it sounds, one of these three "f-words" could lead you to Mr. First, be fearless in your gay dating pursuits.
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In today's complicated world, he might be calling work, his sitter, or his ex-wife to see if she can pick up the kids. Chill out, and use the time to call your sponsor for encouragement.
In the old days, it was common, and common sense, to say that, if you sleep with someone, you are also sleeping with everyone he's slept with. Nowadays, it's common sense to remember that, if you sleep with someone who's in a Step program, you are also sleeping with everyone in his Home Group. Be prepared to be judged by all the members of the orgy. If you've met the guy online and have never met in person, and if his entire chat so far has been about how amazingly hot you are and how amazingly much he's into you and how he's quite certain you're the guy for him, he will hate you within 20 minutes of your date and you will never hear from him again.
If you request an explanation, he will call you a stalker and block you from any social media sites you might share. While it's nice to have a grasp of current events and knowledge of local culture, it's no longer a first-date pre-requisite. However, if you don't have an immediate answer for "Do you want to get married? Contrary to popular belief, opinions are not like assholes, because in today's gay world, assholes are glorious and sexy and displayed prominently in photos sent to you from potential suitors. Opinions on a date are more like your lesbian best friend: We know she's important to you and we're glad you have her, but we have no idea why you'd want to introduce us to her on a first meeting and turn the evening into a serious downer.
If you do opt to discuss current events, avoid anything so controversial it will destroy potential chemistry, like Crimea, Obama's job performance, or the relevance of HBO's "Looking. Fashions change, so know the basics: No flip-flops, no shaving, and, even if it is after Memorial Day, absolutely no white underwear. If you like the guy and want things to go well, put everything out on the table: HIV status, views on monogamy, and, for Florida residents, guns.
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It's a sign of a true gentleman if you walk him to his door and he says it's too soon for you to come inside. It's also more than likely a sign that he still lives with his on-again off-again ex.